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Submitted on
August 2, 2012
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18 (who?)
Hetalia Reader-Insert Parody

"Okay, this is really not cool, but at the same time, you guys are all pretty dang hot and stuff, so I don't think it really matters."

You had been walking home from a typical day at [school name] when suddenly you felt something black pull over your eyes, and the next thing you knew, your limbs were bound and you found yourself in a dark, cold room.

"Zip it, frau. We do the talking here," an amazingly exotic, and handsome guy with white hair and red eyes said with a sexy smirk.

"Oh my goodness, I am so sorry," you apologized. Next to him was an equally—if not more—handsome guy, but he had brushed-back blonde hair and icy blue eyes.

"Uh, Gilbert, vhat did we actually accomplish by bringing un complete stranger into our house?"

"Awesomeness!" the albino guy that you presumed was named, Gilbert, said.

"Vhatever," the blonde one said face-palming.

"Dudes, I totally have this epic hero idea!" another guy with a smoking-hot bomber jacket and the most bluest eyes you had ever seen exclaimed.

"What?" everyone in the room asked. You noticed that they were all guys—freaking gorgeous guys!

"Like, we should play spin-the-bottle-Red-vines-hat-drawing-randomness-heroic-dating-sim bangaza!" the guy with the bomber jacket—complete with a pair of cute glasses—suggested.

"Ve, let's-a do it!" a shorter guy with a curly-cue strand of hair said with an accent that sounded like Mario's but much cuter.

"I wirr do whatever Arfred says," a very short guy with black hair and brown eyes said from a corner.

"Ha ha ha! Then it's settled! Let's go par-tay, everyone!"

~Le awesome timeskip that is almost as awesome as Gilbert //shot*~

"Whoa! _____________ got a whole bunch of flags out of the spinning bottle at once!" a guy with a mask said. He looked older than the rest, but he was still hot.

"My flag is in there," a sexy guy with sexy eyebrows said in a sexy British accent.

"Ai-ya! So is mine, aru!" a Chinese-looking guy with a ponytail jumped in.

"Mine is in there as well, da-ze!" another Asian-looking guy said. He had this totally awesome hair curl with a face that made him look sexy for some strange reason that doesn't even make sense—but whatever.

"I didn't even see my flag in there…" a quiet boy that almost looked like that one guy, Alfred, said.

"None of yours matters because __________ and the rest of you will become one with me, anyway," a tall guy with a large scarf said with an innocent smile but a devilish voice.

"If Ivan's going to play the Fruit-Roll-up-seven-hundred-and-twenty-and-a-quarter-of-a-seconds-in-Olympia-masochistic-wannabe-game, then count me out!" Gilbert snorted.

"What the-a hell is everyone waiting for?!?!" a guy that looked similar to the guy that sounded like a cute Mario asked in a loud voice. He didn't sound like a cute Mario—he sounded like a hawt Wario if that's even possible on a grandeur scale of measurements and comparisons.

"Sí! I cannot wait any longer!" a dark-skinned guy with a Spanish accent said. He was eating tomatoes and licking the seeds that were spilling out. Goddamn if he didn't look sexy. Heck, all of the guys looked smexy.

~Oh, it's another timeskip. Ah! There it goes! Wait! Where are you going?!~

You never lost any of the games, and it turned out everyone liked you even though you hadn't met any of them before and didn't realize they had liked you up until they played the spin-the-bottle-Red-vines-hat-drawing-randomness-heroic-dating-sim game. You had, like, about thirty-plus kisses with two of them involving pulling hair, one stroking an Englishman's eyebrows, and one poking his mole.

Who would have thought being abducted by an extraterrestrial form of life could be so sexy and hot and fun????

~omigod, so wat did u guys think? lol should I write moar?????XD idk, its up to u guys lol~

EDIT: yay! so leik people said i should contue this so im going to make a new one!!1!!1! it will be out in XX months, kay? lol *shotsohard//
The title says it all.

If you can't tell it's a joke, then go read the real things this insert is based on. (Though, for the sake of respect, I won't divulge what those are.)

I did this to clear my mind for my final. (I should've been sleeping, but whatever.)

I do not own any characters of Axis Powers: Hetalia. They belong to Himaruya Hidekazu.

Any similarities to characters, settings, scripts, or stories from other pieces of literature or media are purely coincidental.

©This parody belongs to me, ~GydroZMaa.
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AnaisseSteighart Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
hahahah this is totally like the stories I had to read while waiting for some at least readable stories' update. the pain my eyes had to endure.... it has come back   
OfWhatDreamsMayCome Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Ah. I see what you mean.
AmnesiaLuver Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012
THIS. IS. JUST. PERFECT~ Thank you so much for making this!
GydroZMaa Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
*Laughs* Thank you. I didn't know there were people who went out of their way to find this.
HTFlover013 Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2012
GydroZMaa Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I am assuming you're being sarcastic?
HTFlover013 Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2012
Indeed I am c:
GydroZMaa Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
*Laughs* I got a comment like that earlier. I don't understand why someone would ask others if they should continue when they wrote up the first chapter of something to begin with.
reddestruction45 Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
GydroZMaa Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Heh. I didn't call it a parody for nothing.
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