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Literature Text
~"Seafood" Diet~
"Alfred…Alfred, goddammit! Didn't I tell you to watch your weight?"
"Mmrph?" Your boyfriend made a loud slurping noise as he wolfed down his banana cream pie that had melted into a hot bowl of whipped cream slurry and vanilla pudding. Why did the buffets always have to have hot plates even at the dessert stands?
You sighed. "Alfred, I thought your doctor said your calorie counts have been flying off the charts. Keep this up and you'll die of a heart attack."
"It's okay, __________," Alfred dismissively replied and grabbed another bite of steak. You grimaced. Did beef even go well with bananas and pudding? Apparently it did for your boyfriend.
"Seriously, Alfred, I know you do a lot of sports, but do you think it would kill you to turn down the eating just a notch? You know, to ease up on the sugars and fats. At least do it for me."
"You mean like a diet?"
You nodded. "That's what I was getting at, yeah."
Alfred swallowed his food without chewing enough times for his stomach to easily digest.
"But, __________, I am on a diet."
You arched your eyebrows in disbelief. "Really? What kind of diet allows you to eat eight plates of food?"
"A 'seafood' diet!" Alfred stupidly grinned and waited for your reaction.
You blinked. "Didn't you eat an entire bowl of shrimp cocktail earlier?"
"Not that kind of seafood, _________," your boyfriend laughed. "The other kind!"
Now he was just being ridiculous. "What other seafood is there?"
"You know…" Alfred said as if it was common knowledge to understand his reference. "When I see food, I eat it! It's a see-food diet!"
"Don't you dare try to pull that shi—!!"
"Alfred…Alfred, goddammit! Didn't I tell you to watch your weight?"
"Mmrph?" Your boyfriend made a loud slurping noise as he wolfed down his banana cream pie that had melted into a hot bowl of whipped cream slurry and vanilla pudding. Why did the buffets always have to have hot plates even at the dessert stands?
You sighed. "Alfred, I thought your doctor said your calorie counts have been flying off the charts. Keep this up and you'll die of a heart attack."
"It's okay, __________," Alfred dismissively replied and grabbed another bite of steak. You grimaced. Did beef even go well with bananas and pudding? Apparently it did for your boyfriend.
"Seriously, Alfred, I know you do a lot of sports, but do you think it would kill you to turn down the eating just a notch? You know, to ease up on the sugars and fats. At least do it for me."
"You mean like a diet?"
You nodded. "That's what I was getting at, yeah."
Alfred swallowed his food without chewing enough times for his stomach to easily digest.
"But, __________, I am on a diet."
You arched your eyebrows in disbelief. "Really? What kind of diet allows you to eat eight plates of food?"
"A 'seafood' diet!" Alfred stupidly grinned and waited for your reaction.
You blinked. "Didn't you eat an entire bowl of shrimp cocktail earlier?"
"Not that kind of seafood, _________," your boyfriend laughed. "The other kind!"
Now he was just being ridiculous. "What other seafood is there?"
"You know…" Alfred said as if it was common knowledge to understand his reference. "When I see food, I eat it! It's a see-food diet!"
"Don't you dare try to pull that shi—!!"
Literature
AmericaXReader- Bonfires and Drunk Beach Parties
"Daddy! Daddy!" A girl's cheerful voice chirped, followed by soft footsteps the were running to find the person she was calling.
"Ye- Uff!" The girl's father start, but was quieted when he felt her headbutt his stomach.
He stumbled to the floor, catching his giggling daughter on the chest.
"Haha! I made you fall!" She shouted. Even though she was 13, Natalie was a daddy's girl that took after her father's childishness.
"He, I guess you did," Alfred stood up, holding the girl to his height. "So, whaddya want? Hungry?"
"Uh-uh," Natalie shook her dirty blonde head. "I just had a question."
"OK, what?" He set her down in the living by the c
Literature
Ice Cream (America)
Beer is mentioned a bit in here, even though it isnt the main focus of the story.
“…Ice cream!”
You love the frozen confection, and lucky you, there was an ice cream cart usually parked at the park across the street. You knew you had to act fast however. It was late afternoon, and with the heat index was hitting its peak and the cart would be sold out within minutes. You sprinted across the street to the tiny refrigerated cart and jumped in line, which was about ten people long. Bored and anxious you started examining the people waiting in line with you. Most of the people in line were pretty normal: a mom with a sobbing
Literature
Some Jack Daniels (AmericaXReader)
WARNING: Alcohol involved, bad language. Please note that you have been warned!
~~~!!~!~!~!!~!~!~!~!~!~!STORY TIME~!!~!~!~!~!~!
"We love this Drill Sergeant! Give us more, Drill Sergeant!" you yell with the rest of your group. A tall blonde man walked around your group as if he was planning your murder. Everyone stayed absolutely still, not even daring to breathe too hard. Slowly he stood in front of you, more like towered over you, seeing as you were only (y/h) and he being at least six five. You kept your (e/c) eye down and prayed silently he wouldn't pick you to do what he always does.
"PRIVATE (Y/LN) YOU ARE A STUPID USELESS M
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*flips the table*
FLIPN DAD JOKES! DAE BE EVERYWHERE!
FLIPN DAD JOKES! DAE BE EVERYWHERE!