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Submitted on
December 23, 2012
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106 (who?)
~"Seafood" Diet~

"Alfred…Alfred, goddammit! Didn't I tell you to watch your weight?"

"Mmrph?" Your boyfriend made a loud slurping noise as he wolfed down his banana cream pie that had melted into a hot bowl of whipped cream slurry and vanilla pudding. Why did the buffets always have to have hot plates even at the dessert stands?

You sighed. "Alfred, I thought your doctor said your calorie counts have been flying off the charts. Keep this up and you'll die of a heart attack."

"It's okay, __________," Alfred dismissively replied and grabbed another bite of steak. You grimaced. Did beef even go well with bananas and pudding? Apparently it did for your boyfriend.

"Seriously, Alfred, I know you do a lot of sports, but do you think it would kill you to turn down the eating just a notch? You know, to ease up on the sugars and fats. At least do it for me."

"You mean like a diet?"

You nodded. "That's what I was getting at, yeah."

Alfred swallowed his food without chewing enough times for his stomach to easily digest.

"But, __________, I am on a diet."

You arched your eyebrows in disbelief. "Really? What kind of diet allows you to eat eight plates of food?"

"A 'seafood' diet!" Alfred stupidly grinned and waited for your reaction.

You blinked. "Didn't you eat an entire bowl of shrimp cocktail earlier?"

"Not that kind of seafood, _________," your boyfriend laughed. "The other kind!"

Now he was just being ridiculous. "What other seafood is there?"

"You know…" Alfred said as if it was common knowledge to understand his reference. "When I see food, I eat it! It's a see-food diet!"

"Don't you dare try to pull that shi—!!"
Based on a concept my dad likes to say to others to joke around. It's okay because I actually think my dad is cool. Yeah, I know it's stupid.

Axis Powers: Hetalia and its characters belong to Himaruya Hidekazu.

This story belongs to me, *GydroZMaa.
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Femdenmark92 Featured By Owner May 25, 2014
•face palm• you leave me no choice, Alfie
•calls Germany, and every tough personal trainer in existence•
America: noooooo okay I'll take it easy!
HanselandGretl Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2013
Oh gawsh... Now I want to have Banana Cream Pie... :icondroolplz:
GydroZMaa Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Ah, yes, that stuff is delicious. :aww:
sarpndo Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013
XD. lol.
Torini-Fettuccini Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2012
I agree with his diet. That's why I'm probably going to die of a heart attack. XD SEE YA WHEN WE BOTH DIE YOUNG ALFRED! XD
GydroZMaa Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh my...
Torini-Fettuccini Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2012
Hahaha XD the sad part is how I don't deny it. Though Iguess I shouldn't say I'm THAT bad when it comes to food intake. I know people who eat worse than I do... ^^"
GydroZMaa Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Well, the first step to solving a problem is realizing or admitting you have a problem. :aww:
Torini-Fettuccini Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2012
You speak the truth! XD
TheLemonAlchemist Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
This is soooooo Alfred lol
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